Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Is it tacky to have a wedding with no bridesmaids and groomsmen?

My fiance and I chose close family and friends to be our bridesmaids and groomsmen but we realized that some of them are unrealiable and we dont want the headache of wondering if everyone will get their wedding attire and if everyone will show up on time. I know my maid of honor and his best man will so we are thinking about having a matron of honor,best man, flower girl and ring bearer for our wedding party. Everyone else will just be invited to attend.
Is it tacky to have a wedding with no bridesmaids and groomsmen?
No, that's not tacky at all. A wedding isn't about being fashionable, it's about joining two people who love each other together. Unfortunately, weddings are so stressful on the happy couple that the marriage starts to crack before it can even start. You and your fiance are wise to follow the KISS (Keep It Simple, Sweetie) principle.



My husband and I kept it simple when we married. We tied the knot in the house we were renting from my uncle and our wedding party consisted of the maid of honor (my cousin), the best man (my brother), the flower girl (another cousin) and the preacher performing the ceremony (my father). My cousin made the wedding cake, my aunt decorated, my mother and grandmother coordinated the wedding, two of my uncles provided the music, took video and still pictures. It was memorable and beautiful. Now, five years later, I can look back on it and say that I honestly didn't have much stress.



Best of luck to you and your fiance! May your marriage be happy and last all of your lives.
Reply:It's not tacky but if you hav already asked people, you cant un-ask them. That is tacky. That will hurt peoples feelings and may even burn a bridge or two. If you asked...you just have to suck it up and deal with it. Its your day, dont let things like that ruin it!
Reply:I teach wedding etiquette for wedding workshops. It is actually becoming more and more common for couples to eliminate a wedding party from their wedding. Many more couples are choosing a maid of honor and best man, possibly a flower girl and ring bearer. There are even some couples that have chosen not to offend anyone and have no attendants. Always remember, this is your wedding and it needs to be your way. Good luck!
Reply:Smart move. It's your wedding, so you get to make the rules. You can have a beautiful ceremony without a lot of people involved. If you continue to make these types of well thought out decisions throughout your marriage, you should have a long and happy relationship.

Good luck to both of you.
Reply:It's not tacky to have just 2 attendants, but it's really really tacky to uninvite someone to be an attendant once you've already asked.
Reply:No. It's your day, make it whatever you wish.



Just inform your guests there is a change of plans, and thank them for their gesture of support.
Reply:If you've already invited these people to stand up with you, you shouldn't un-invite them - not only is it tacky, but extremely rude. Otherwise, you can have as many or as few as you want.
Reply:No, this is not tacky. You need to have the maid/matron of honor and the best man. The flower girl and ring bearer are nice but even they are not strictly necessary as the maid of honor and best man could hold the rings. This is your wedding. You want it to be as stress free as possible. Doing it this way, no one will be offended that they were not a brides maid or in the grooms entourage.



It is your big day. You can have it anyway you want it.
Reply:That sounds great to me! Mine will be like that, and I have been to several others like that. They were all small, simple affairs held outside, none in a church.



But you say you already chose a wedding party. Does this mean that you have already asked those people to be in the wedding? If you have already asked them and they have accepted, you will have a lot of hurt and angry friends on your hands.
Reply:I think it's just fine...I'm only planning on having the closest and most reliable of my friends be in my wedding. Go for it. It's your day, not theirs.
Reply:Sounds ok by me, the only problem is that you might have to explain to the people who WOULD have been bridesmaids and groomsmen WHY you didn't need them, which might be a bit akward, especially if anyone's really annoyed and/or doesn't like the truth about their lack of timeliness. Personally, I don't want MOST of my family at my wedding, much less involved!



Congratulations and good luck!
Reply:As long as you didn't already ask them, I don't see a problem. It's your wedding.



If you've already asked these people and then decided you don't want them, you may have some trouble extricating yourself.

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