Saturday, February 11, 2012

Is it right to show love in only one way?

Shouldn't we show love in the way our partner wants it or likes it?



If they like flowers give them flowers.

If they like cards give them cards.

If they like poems give them poems.

If they like sex give them sex.



Isn't it kind of wrong to force your partner to ONLY accept your love the way you want to express it?



A card is nice, but I don't feel love from a card. I'm just not that sort of person.

A poem is nice, but I don't feel love from a poem. I'm just not that sort of person.



Flowers or Sex its all the same thing its a medium of expression like money is medium of exchange.



It seems that if you really care for someone then you need to express your love the way they like it and not what is easiest for you. If they love you they should do the same.



Now if you hold back waiting for them to do it first or better or more then you are just selfish, after all love is giving isn't it.



So what do you think?

Right/Wrong?

Am I close or way off base?
Is it right to show love in only one way?
its selfish and immature to only want to be showed love in the way you define it. thats not love. thats just a child wanting things there own way and acting like a brat when they don't get it.



when u grow up you will understand what love is really about .. for now you are way off base.
Reply:There's lots of ways to show love, my preference is quality time, where I have his full attention. Some like gifts, others would like help with some household chores, others like to be touched [ not just in a sexual way ] and others like to hear words of appreciation. We should love them in the way they feel most loved so they recognize that we do love them, how else will they feel loved? If someone wants to get more sex they should find out which is the one their mate prefers and they will never be disappointed.
Reply:You should show your partner you love them in as many ways as you can find possible don't use one way use 100 and always show you love them don't just say it
Reply:Love is different for all people. The way people express their love is different and you cannot force a person to express their love for you in the way that is most appealing to you. Yes, love is about giving but it is personal and individual and maybe to the person that loves you, expressing themselves in a card or a poem they feel they express themselves to you the best. I know that I personally express myself best through notes and letters or even through email. I'm not as good at expressing myself in person...or even being affectionate because I didn't grow up that way. My husband is much more affectionate than I am. I'm sure he'd love it if I would just jump on him and have my way with him...I write him those fantasies but have never acted them out. I, in turn, would like other things that he just doesn't do...I'd love a heartfelt note from him from time to time...I don't get them but I know he loves me...he has a different way of showing it than I do...he shows me how much he loves me in different ways that are personal to him but he gets his point across and I have no doubt that he loves me and I wouldn't change him for anything!
Reply:I agree with you in some aspects. Whether you show love by giving flowers, cards, or having sex- you are still showing love and of course you should take into consideration what your partner wants/likes but that shouldn't limit you to only showing your love in one way.

I love flowers and so my fiance usually brings me flowers once or twice a month, but even if he didn't I would still know he loves me by other ways he shows it (words, actions, etc).
Reply:Your right. If this is your relationship you need to get out and find someone who returns your love.
Reply:there are 5 love languages:



words of affirmation

quality time

recieving gifts

acts of service

physical touch



figure out which you are (it can be more than one) and what your partner is and you will understand each other ALOT better. chances are if the way they feel loved is by words of affirmation, they will think that that is how you will feel loved too. if they realize its quality time you need instead then they can start showing you love the way you want it.
Reply:It depends.

I think you are right and wrong.

Still needing more, but a little selfish.



The person may not know how to show their love in any other way. Loving someone is an experience...A learning experience.



It is up to you to tell them and show them the loving expressions that mean the most to you...BUT

if you love that person you will be patient enough to wait for them to be comfortable enough to include that in the way they show you (or not).



...and...out of love...you should appreciate any expression of love given to you....maybe you should broaden your horizon and love unconditionally.
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